A visit to my cousin’s Facebook page led me to this video. In it TD Jakes describes 3 types of friends. While each example had me nodding my head in agreement there was one that struck me as poignant. The Comrades; theses people are not “for you” but instead “against what you are against”. “They are like scaffolding. They come into your life to fulfill a purpose and when the purpose is complete the scaffolding is removed.”
Recently I had to cut someone out of my life. I do not enjoy this. I love my friends and it is not in my nature to cut people off (Unless you are just toxic, then I have no problem at all!). I relied heavily on this friend for emotional support during what was a tough transition for me. I trusted, confided and exposed my innermost and sometimes just plain embarrassing thoughts to them. I thought it was mutual. But for them it wasn’t the same, and when I discovered this I felt __________(insert harsh emotion here). They were not for me.
But to be very honest, upon reflection I discovered that it wasn’t all bad. We had a good time. And all the while I was getting stronger, learning from them and about myself.
There is nothing like a real friend that has seen you at your worst and still loves you. And when you find one consider yourself blessed. For this is extremely rare. But if for some reason it doesn’t last perhaps you had them in the wrong category. And accepting that people will walk in and out of your life for a greater plan makes it all the more easy to say goodbye.
While I am getting better at identifying them, I will admit that I have mistaken many a comrade for a real friend. And it is no less painful when the scaffolding comes down and they are gone. But after a period of mourning (albeit brief) I look around and guess what? My building is still standing!
- Add Alli 4 Clarity
- Add Alli 4 Clarity
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