Chicks before Dicks (You have your friends, I have mine.)

I want to dedicate this piece to my girls. I love you, you know who you are.

By no means will I pretend to be a romantic relationship expert, there is much that evades me in this category. But I do have extended experience in the girlfriends department.

You know what I admire about men? Loyalty. I know you have all heard the saying “Bros before Hoes”, and "You'll never lose women chasing money, but you always loose money chasing women". Now, hoe is a really strong (and offensive) term but the gist of it is that men subscribe to the idea that you don’t ditch your friends or get distracted from your job for a girl. Rude huh?! Well maybe not.

Too often I witness female friends get into a relationships and disappear. You can’t find her nowhere. She no longer has a spare moment for her girls. Gone. All her time is consumed with her man, and if she does make plans with you they are tentative on her man showing up.

Now to her defense,  especially when you first fall for your beau, that junk is fun! He is so wonderful, good looking and so freakin' hilarious! And let’s face it you just can’t find that feeling anywhere else. But sooner or later it cools down and perhaps the relationship will go well and continue, but maybe not. And then the poor girl has to slink her way back to her friends.

Ladies! Why do we do this? I admonish you! Do not ditch, punk, blow off your friends for the attention of a dude! Because it IS possible to do both. You can a have girlfriends, hang out with your family and have a man too. And if for some reason your man doesn’t think you can…think twice about him.  Just like there is a space that ONLY your man can fill, there will be other spaces in your life that will require your girls, your family, a career, your hobbies and a spiritual life that he cannot compensate for.

The second thing I admire? Their ability to get over beef with other dudes. Most women do not have this skill. You cross me, that’s it. I mention this second thing because if you happen to be watching your girlfriend fade into the oblivion that is her man, be sensitive. When she returns (9 out of 10 times she will) forgive her. Who knows when you will need the same consideration?

Ladies, go out your girls (and don't bring him!), spend time with your family, find a fulfilling career, maintain your hobbies and strengthen your spiritual life. He is wonderful no doubt (*deep sigh*) but he is just piece to the larger picture that is you.

-Add Alli 4 Clarity